I’m writing this from under a cozy blanket on my couch, propped up on a good pillow, and wearing a nice warm fleece pullover. The space heater’s going again after keeping it off most of the day, and I’m starting to feel a little more mellow without, hopefully, nodding off. It’s a nice mental space to be in, especially since it’s been a rough start to the year.
Not as rough as many people’s, I’m sure. But there’s been stress. Mostly my anxiety messing things up for me, as previously mentioned. I got ultra-stressed about how to do laundry so things would be “clean” (my mom helped reassure me, thank you, Mom). Last night I lost an hour to (mostly fruitlessly) researching what cleaners would be food-surface safe. And another couple hours to wrestling with a bunch of indecision when finally buying enclosure supplies for Jabberwocky that I’ve needed ever since I moved.
Context for the latter: The move ended up breaking or borking several important Jabberwocky enclosure items. While I’ve been muddling through with some temporary supplies/half-broken kit for a while, I want to get it back closer to where it was pre-move. It took me like two hours to order things, because I was having trouble just making a decision and sticking to it. What type of thermometer should I get? Should I try a new humidifier or just get the one I had before I accidentally broke it cleaning? Oh no what if this isn’t the best option or it doesn’t work right or…or…and so on. The humidifier was especially killer, because there just wasn’t a great fit despite falling down a research hole for an hour. But that’s okay. It’ll work, and I can always change it out later, and she needs the gear asap.
Other stressors include the usual suspects: Running behind or running late. Not having enough time/energy/focus to get things as organized/clean as I would like. Accidentally forgetting to take my meds today. Finding time (or not) to make food beyond the absolute basics. The sort of day-to-day stuff that just adds up over time.
Some things are going better. I’ve started my new job, and my first few days were only a little overwhelming in terms of information given and I’ve managed to not totally blow the first few small tasks given to me. I’m recording another session of Castles & Crusades for the podcast tonight, which is always a nice time. I managed to get a new planner for the year on the first, when I was worried I might just have to wait a couple weeks. I sat and read a book (Time of Contempt, the second Witcher novel) for three hours on Saturday. Plus I have this cozy blanket and I’m blogging like I wanted to.
So it’s been rough, but there’s some nice spots in there. And that’s worth something. I just hope the ratio of difficulty to nice lessens soon.
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