Un-Marketable Job Skills

I applied to a bunch of jobs today, and it reminded me that I have a whole bundle of skills that, while I’m very good at them, will never help me land a job:

  • Losing every pen that has ever come in contact with me
  • Inexplicably roughing up even the toughest objects
  • Ability to remember tons of information about magazine/website contributor lineups
  • Ability to remember a bunch of information about the hosts of podcasts
  • emacs
  • Remembering reviews written about games I never ended up playing
  • Tracing back to an academic source I forgot to record by remembering the exact search terms I used to find it
  • Near-mastery of the game Snowboard Kids 2
  • Ability to fall asleep almost anywhere, at almost any time
  • Iguana wrangling

Alas! At least I can assume everyone else has some equally useless skills. I hope.

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