Have Fire, Will Travel: Destructive Mistakes

When last we left K’lathan the Argonian, my avatar for this little journey, he’d just crashed in Whiterun overnight after a long and arduous journey from Riverwood, after almost being eaten by a dragon in Helgen. He’s delivered his message. Now it’s time for him to live his life. Not going to go find some rock in a crypt, though. No sir.

On my way out of the inn, I meet Uthgerd the Unbroken, who promptly informs me you don’t know someone until you’ve fought them. K’lathan feels an illicit thrill go down his spine, but I’m not up for a fight just yet. Plus, that armor looks tough. Onwards!

Onwards to what, though? I check my quests.

Visiting the College of Winterhold seems like a good idea. I should do that Amren’s Family Sword thing, though. I remember where that is! Plus I’ll get to set people on fire.

Speaking of. Hey, man! I’m working on it, worry not!

The fields outside the city are as gorgeous and flat as usual. On my way out of the town I spot a Khajiit caravan and stop to say hi.

I sadly don’t find the Khajiit companion among this particular group, who I think would be an excellent traveling partner. But I try to make pleasant conversation with the rest of them, anyway.

Hey, guys! Don’t worry, I don’t believe that propaganda rumor bullshit that you sell illegal drugs and–

Huh. Well, when in Rome the Empire! I grab myself some Skooma, because sweet, sweet drugs. Also us beast races have to stick together. Maybe someday we’ll get to live nice places in the cities in this racist, cold, shitty country.

…why did any of us come here, again?

I head out and start making my way to the bandit hideout. It’s important to focus on–



Okay so that didn’t work like I’d planned. Right, focusing. I continue on, steering well clear of some giants and roasting a few mudcrabs on the way.

In the middle of my roast I get hurt out of nowhere, and duck behind a nearby rock. What the fuck was that?

Let’s take a peek here…

Bandits! RUDE. I chase them down and make quick work of them with more flame.

Okay, here we go! I sneak into the camp and get down to work trying to find that sword.

I push my abilities to the limits, roasting people, stealing their potions, and absconding with every piece of food they didn’t nail down.

Turns out when you’re a newbie, it’s damn hard to keep the magicka up where it needs to be. I run low in the middle of a fight and am reduced to stabbing someone. Like a peasant.

I level up and decide to solve that problem with my first skill point. I up my overall magicka, too.

I got pretty beat up back there, but I can do this! I wade back in, finding a fancy-pants shield at the top of the keep, but no sword. Hrm.

Okay, maybe it’s inside the keep? I delve down in, finding a cozy vestibule and bandits who I promptly proportionally respond to with murder.

Then, my arch nemesis. A locked door! Almost as bad as elk! I can’t find a key on anybody, so I’m reduced to using lockpicks like a common thief. My magical abilities do not yet include lockpicking, but the sword is probably behind this door, so it’s worth it.

Inside, I find lockpicks. No sword, though. Dammit. Maybe up this ladder I’ll find something?

This…this isn’t right. This is OUTSIDE.

Where’s the sword? It’s supposed to be here! Look, right here on the map, it says–



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